Round 4.5
After hearing feedback from friends concerning the ending/2nd character, I drew an alternate version of the recent boards. I really liked the idea of an old man in the beginning, except now he's actually the girl's grandfather, thus making his association with her more clearly explained.
posted by Rosie at
4:33 AM
6 Comments:
I like this adjustment to the story a lot better. I feel more of a personal connection with the characters. Especially because old men that look like insects really turn me on, sexually.
This is definitely my favorite so far. :3
see!!!! don't a b a n d o n him .... hahah can't wait to see the bully too =D
Rosie, these look really great. I'm glad the grampa's back with more personality.
I keep seeing your boards and having suggestions but in the next batch all my comments are taken care of, lol.
It's a shame about that bigger bully kid. I liked him--he had potential. He just seemed really out of place to me because we see him quick and then he's gone again. I didn't know if he was a student or why he was at the game later on... It might work if he was a football player coming late to the game--it would explain his pissed-offed-ness, haha.
They're all looking really full of energy, I can't wait to see it as an animation. I hope you have plans to make it one. One thing I'd be careful of is using jump cuts. I don't see more than one or two in this latest version which is awesome.
A couple drafts ago, during the stadium scene in particular, there were a lot of cuts from far away, to close in, then far away again without changing angle or introducing any new information (like an object or action or character or expression) to the viewer. Jump cuts are pretty jarring that way--but it seems like you've been hunting them down and obliterating them with a passion.
Okay, this is getting long now and I... breakfast.
Thanks so much you guys!
And wow, thank you -so- much Jake for your advice! I really appreciate it, and I'm definitely going to try to be more sensitive to that during the animation (I dont' really know about jump cuts, so -thank you- for pointing that out in depth!)
fantastic boards!!!!
your camera work is awesome!!
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